A Mitigating Factor
by IfUKnewUCouldNotFail
Summary: This started as an episode tag for 7x08 Whites of his Eyes, but grew much longer than I anticipated. Set from Jane's POV, it starts out where the episode leaves off and deals with the fallout from Jane and Lisbon's argument. Introspection piece, but with a twist. It turns out Jane might have had a very good reason to be particularly protective of Lisbon during that hotel mission.


A/N: Been ages since I wrote anything for this fandom, but what can I say, our fav couple finally getting together inspired me. :-)

A/N 2: To my Last Ship peeps who may be reading this, I have not abandoned anyone or anything. After my most recent bout of writers block that most of you know about, be happy that I am finding myself able to write anything! I certainly am! I simply went where my muse took me and it's a good thing! It all helps to get me back into 'the zone'. :-)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mentalist. :-/

JLJLJL

She was still angry with him. He didn't need to be a psychic or even a fake psychic to know that.

They were on their way home. Home being whomever's abode it was their turn to stay at that night. It was actually their turn to stay at Lisbon's house, and from the direction they were driving and the fact she had let him into her car to begin with, it seemed she wasn't quiet pissed off at him enough to deviate from that plan. That or she just wanted to be able to lay into on home turf.

As Jane considered it, he decided it was much more likely the latter. But either way he was glad, distance was bad, whatever her motivations were, he was immensely glad she was allowing him to remain close to her tonight.

The coming argument would have to wait however. First it was time to do something that was already well over due. Yes, she would likely still be angry with him by the end of this, but it was entirely possible she could do a complete backflip as to why.

"Teresa." He spoke hesitantly, neutrally and unprovokingly…he hoped. It was the first sound either of them had made since entering the vehicle.

"What!?" Yep, still pissed…with a definite edge of sadness. She was thinking of them, was thinking that maybe there couldn't be a 'them' any longer. He had to bite down on the sheer panic that rose at the realization. He ignored her antagonistic tone and proceeded in his practiced, completely false, calm one.

"Can we please make a stop? I need to pick up something from the drug store." It wouldn't take long. He knew they were right near a twenty-four hour place.

"What? Jane, what could you possible need that can't wait till tomorrow?!" He could see that she just thought he was just trying to distract her. But nothing could be further from the truth.

He took a deep breath. He really hadn't wanted to have any of this argument in a moving vehicle. It rather went against the 'keeping Lisbon safe' plan that had been the whole point of the day, and the reason he was currently in so much trouble with her.

It would be utterly unacceptable for them to have successfully gotten to this point, relatively unscathed, only to get into an argument induced car wreck now.

"Teresa…please." He spoke as sincerely as he could muster. It wasn't fake, not in the least. Still, he felt the need to put extra effort into showing all of his true feelings to the woman he loved. He was getting better, they both were, but hiding those feelings were still such practiced habits…for both of them.

Lisbon looked very much like she was strongly considering ignoring his plea. Probably still thinking this was some kind of trick or diversion she would be an idiot to play into. But apparently his words resonated enough that she couldn't deny him something so simple, not when she could not identify the harm in it. Yet, she probably thought.

"Fine!" By this stage, they were right near the turn off for the drug store, and he held on while Lisbon made a sharper and faster right turn, than was strictly necessary. She parked in front of the store in question, but made no move to get out with him. Jane was secretly very glad about that but also a little afraid that she would be a little too tempted to ditch him after he got out of the car.

But there was nothing for it. He had to risk it. Teresa was already busy pretending something on her phone was vastly more interesting then he was when he exited the vehicle and made his way into the single open and illuminated store on the little strip mall where they had pulled up.

Finding and purchasing the items he required had not been difficult, so before too many minutes had passed, he was making his way out again. And breathing a sigh of quiet relieve that his ill-tempered girlfriend had not given into temptation and abandoned him. It gave him hope that proceeding events might not go too horribly. She still loved him, he was sure of it. He had to find a way to make her focus on that.

Noiselessly as he could, and now nursing a surprisingly large drug store bag, he got back in the car and shut the door behind him. From a single, failed to be hidden, glance, he could tell she was immensely curious about what was in the bag, but would never admit to it. Not right now.

Without a word she peeled out and once again they were on their way 'home'.

They arrived in silence, not another word was spoken during the remainder of the short drive. Lisbon let herself in and immediately started dropping her stuff in the hall. Jane stepped in after her cautiously, he still wasn't entirely sure he wasn't going to be told to take the car for the night and go his own way. But as he cautiously shut the door behind him, all the time watching her reaction, and got none, he again breathed a sigh of relief.

It was a night for small victories; he had to celebrate every one.

"You can sleep on the couch, Jane." She spoke with her back to him, already heading to the stairs. Her tone was lackluster, more tired and resigned than her earlier notes of frustration and anger.

Yep, he had expected that. No surprise at all there. It did however indicate that she did not intend for them to continue their little _difference of opinions_ tonight. That could be a good thing, but it also presented a possible problem. But after quick consideration, he decided it could be remedied and that they could return to this in the morning.

"Thank you, Teresa. Goodnight." His thanks were genuine. He knew she had not had to give him as much as she had. By not taking away all the physical distance between them she had given him hope and comfort to hold onto. He could only hope that she had the same desire of keeping him close tonight, despite her anger with him.

JLJLJL

Jane could not say he slept well at all. In fact, he could not say that he had actually_ slept_ at all. Of course such an occurrence was not unusual for him, hadn't been for years. Though the condition he had suffered from for years had begun to spontaneously reverse itself in recent months.

One didn't need superhuman powers to deduce why, thus his relapse last night was of little surprise, given his newly uncommon nighttime solitude.

Still, being up early actually worked well for his plans. He make his way to the downstairs bathroom to take care of his morning ablutions and rituals as best he could without the luxury of his personal products that were kept in Teresa's bathroom.

The thought occurred to him that this situation really should have been foreseeable for him, and thus remediable…since he had been at the drug store last night anyway. Of course, he could have ventured upstairs but he really didn't want to risk waking Lisbon before he was ready. It would throw off his plans.

Noting the time as still being a bit before six, Jane took the time to make himself a cup of tea before venturing up the stairs. He didn't have his favorite cup here. Which was unfortunate right now, he would have appreciated the dose of solace and love it represented now more than ever. But that cup belonged at the CBI, and now at the FBI. It just fit.

More than that, he enjoyed being able to display the evidence of Teresa's love for him that he was able to flaunt so openly because it was so well camouflaged to all who didn't know them. Few knew the true history of the cup and absolutely none, bar the two of them, knew the true depths of feelings attached to it.

He had to admit that part of the reason he enjoyed silently flaunting the cup was because it was all he was allowed to flaunt, publically at least.

Teresa's initial lie to Abbott that had been able to shock and hurt him, something he thought he had hid and was still hiding quiet well, remained in effect. He had been immensely pleased when she had completely dropped the pretense when they had gone to her hometown of Chicago and visited her family. But the day-to-day lie that was still in effect in their working life, and it did still pain his fractured psyche.

But their trip to Chicago had given him immense hope that she was not in fact embarrassed by him or their relationship, and that when she had said she just wanted to keep it out of work, she really had meant that she really just wanted to keep it out of work. Family was ok.

Of course that threw a higher dimension on why she could be particularly pissed with him right now, as far as she was concerned, he had most definitely not 'kept it out of work'.

Problem was, as far as he was concerned, they could no longer separate the two, work or family. And he needed to make her understand that.

With his freshly brewed cup in hand, Jane quietly tip toed up the stairs, perching on the last step to sit in wait. Lisbon had not closed her bedroom door last night, not completely, and Jane took it as another good sign. Subconsciously at least, she had not wanted to completely shut him out last night.

From his vantage point sipping tea on the top step, a mere few feet from her bedroom door, Jane was easily able to identify when the first sounds that indicated waking could be heard. Wasting no time upon hearing them, he placed down his now empty cup and crept slowly towards her girlfriend's bedroom door.

Knocking lightly on the door and softly calling her name, he at first wondered if he had imagined the sounds he had heard, or if they only indicated movement in sleep and not waking. It would be unusual if they did, his Teresa was a habitual early riser.

He was now trying to decide if caution or courage was the best course of action moving forward. She could be ignoring him of course, but he didn't think so.

So did he exercise courage and push the door open further, potentially incurring her rath and starting their morning and his plans off to a decidedly bad start. Or did he exercise caution and wait for a sign that his intrusion would be…well, if not welcome, at least tolerated.

Caution was never his strong suit, particularly when it came to his own wellbeing, so with a slightly louder voice and knock, he repeated his earlier call.

This time the sound of a rustling of sheets was his response. Followed by a very sleepy and very feminine voice.

"J-jane."

Jane smiled. He loved sleepy Lisbon, the best part of the day was waking up to that voice, not that he had exactly had that luxury this morning, but in the present uncertainty, he would take what he could get.

Perhaps a little overconfidently taking her clearly half asleep utterance of his name as permission to enter, he regardlessly, did just that.

Pushing the door open, he was met with one of his favorite sights. If his favorite sound was her sleep-addled voice, then his favorite sight was her sleep-rumpled form. Or maybe second favorites… Her sex-addled voice and form were also _very_ high on the list. But there was just something so innocent about her when she was just not quite awake yet. She was so beautiful and childlike. Maybe it was a tie. Maybe Lisbon in pretty much any state that leant itself to a bed being involved, was his favorite Lisbon. Yes, that worked.

"Teresa." He spoke softly and gently, aware that her return from slumber to the land of the living could be slow at times, pretty much any time some emergency didn't force 'Agent Lisbon' to come forward before 'little Teresa' was remotely ready.

Thus he was both happy and sad when he received a smile from her in welcome when she saw him. What he wouldn't give for that to be real, but he knew that brilliantly serene curve of her beautiful mouth was only in place because she had not yet remembered his apparently unforgivable crimes of yesterday.

Still, he would take the warmth while it was offered, he would just not use it to push her too far. It would only make her angrier when reality finally returned to her.

"Hi, there. Did you sleep ok?" He continued to speak softly, his expression open and hopefully endearing as he took a tentative seat on the side of her bed, close but not too close.

"Mmm…" Was her first answering grumble as she rubbed her eyes in a very cute fashion with two balled up fists just like a tiny baby would.

When she was done, her eyes appeared clearer, her attention becoming more focused and Jane knew the hourglass on her waking 'honeymoon period' was running low.

"I d'know…" She was trying to answer his question but apparently having difficulty doing it. He could see confusion on her features. He knew why, she hadn't slept well, he had heard her tossing and turning until the early hours.

But the problem was, right now, she didn't remember that. When she did, it wouldn't be long before she also remembered why. At that point things were highly liable to become 'frostier' for him.

He decided to bite the bullet. Terrible phrase that it was after all the deadly real life bullets that had been involved yesterday, and were the true reason for their current impasse.

"You didn't sleep well, Teresa. And it's because of yesterday, because of me." He admitted quietly, apologetically, his face downcast.

To be clear, he was deeply sorry to have hurt her, to have caused her pain in any way, to make her believe that he doubted her and her abilities in any way. That being said, he still didn't regret what he had done and he would still do it again in heartbeat, especially given the _mitigating factor_ he strongly suspected.

What he needed to do was prove to her why what he had done had not been as damning and untenable moving forward as she believed it to be.

He couldn't deny he was scared moving forward. When thing were in the planning stage he was always able to focus on that and forget about the potential ramifications of the actions his plans would cause. But when the time came and those actions were imminent, he couldn't think of anything else. Especially when the outcome was so very important to him…and in this case so very _not_ in his complete control.

He could see the moment his words finally resonated and she became fully awake. Her smile dropped and his heart sank. In a single moment she had gone from looking at him like he was her very reason for living, to looking at him like she had last night, like maybe she couldn't go on living with him…for him...at all. As expected as the change was, it still caused his heart to wrench in his chest.

"Jane." There was no softness in her tone now. But there wasn't much perceptible anger at this point either…just hurt…and doubt.

"Teresa, look, I'm sorry…" He began.

"So you promise you're never going to do it again?" She interrupted.

Silence reigned as their gazes met and dueled. Both knew what they _wanted _the other to say. Both knew that was _not_ what was going to happen. But both held a small slender hope that something had changed the others mind overnight and fixed their current problem in their favor.

As stated, it was a slender hope.

"I can't say that, Teresa...not now." Jane admitted softly…sorrowfully.

There was another pause as she considered his words…and what he was scared she would think they meant.

"Then nothing's changed. We still have a problem. A big one." Lisbon's voice was quiet too. Her tone was mainly just sad, but it also held an uncomfortable level of resignation for Jane's taste.

Far from being over, they hadn't even begun to delve into what had really been happening yesterday, but they were going to…right now.

"Teresa, I could go into my motives more and try and explain why what I did was an absolute emotional imperative for me, frankly the very least I could possibly have done under the circumstances…but I think that that explanation could lead to an even bigger argument. A very unnecessary one, so for the sake of avoiding that and for general expediency, can you please agree to do something for me first?"

She eyed him hesitantly.

Understandably…

"What do you want me to do?" She asked slowly, enunciating each word. Her suspicion of the turn this conversation had taken was clear in her doubt-ridden features.

"I want you to take these into the bathroom." He pulled out the previously well-hidden brown paper bag he had procured from the drug store the night before and passed it to her.

This was the moment, for all his planning and intuition he was in no way sure that this wasn't going to cause a total panic…in fact he judged the probability of sitting somewhere between likely and extremely probable.

Jane watched as she slowly took the bag from him and grasped it herself. Its contents were still indiscernible, and Teresa made no move to remedy that. Her gaze stayed fixed with his.

"What's inside?" She asked.

"Why don't you just look?" He counted gently.

"Why don't you just tell me?" She sparred back, gaze still immovable from his. She was clearly intrigued, but also cautious…and worried, he detected.

He tilted his head and considered the woman still half laying in the bed, bringing out his every tool of observation to try and decide if she really was as in the dark as she seemed. He was left not completely sure, though his best guess was that she actually didn't have any idea what was in the bag or its significance. Still he felt the urge to push further, to test his theory just a little more.

"You really don't have any idea what's in there, Teresa? No idea how something I picked up from the drug store last night could in any way relate to why I was so 'overly' protective of you yesterday?" The tone and facial expression he implemented for the 'overly' clearly communicating his distaste for the term, and his belief that such a thing wasn't actually even possible in their situation.

He watched her reaction closely, watched for the slightest tell that she might have a suspicion, even a subconscious one. If she did suspect, his clues would have been enough that she wouldn't have been able to prevent the smallest hint of panic from showing on her features, however briefly. Panic of the state itself, panic that he suspected…but neither showed themselves.

All he saw was confusion and that worry still in evidence, not guilt, or fear or panic. Either the student had become the master _very quickly,_ or she really didn't have the slightest suspicion of what he was talking about. No offence to her newly learned mentalist skills, but he strongly suspected it was the latter.

He sighed, he wasn't actually sure what he had hoped for, all he knew was that he might be in for a more difficult road right now until the truth did eventually out itself…and be accepted by all…but mainly her.

On the other hand, he couldn't deny that he was quite relieved that she had not willingly put herself in such harm yesterday with the knowledge that this morning would impart. He despised himself for being so distracted with the case that he hadn't figured it out himself until it was almost too late.

He well knew that something had been niggling at the corner of his brain for a while, it had been practically screaming after their near miss in Louisiana. But yet it had remained just out of reach until that morning. The morning when all hell was set to break loose, the morning that had left him with no time left to do anything except panic and implement a panic induced and completely improvisation plan.

At least the fact that she had not known gave him hope that they were not necessarily going to be working at cross-purposes moving forward.

"No Jane, I don't know what it could possibly have to do with it, I mean what are you saying? Do you think I'm sick or something? Because I'm fine, I'm a little tired maybe but we've been busy lately…and may I remind you that neither of us have been getting much sleep…" She left the sentence and the implication hanging.

They both smiled at that. Though he saw the exact moment when Teresa remembered she was supposed to be mad at him and immediately stamped down on the show of positive emotion aimed his way. That _obviously_ wouldn't do under the circumstances.

Jane chuckled, he couldn't help it. "Sweetheart…" He knew she hated/secretly loved the cheesy term of endearment and the face she immediately pulled proved it yet again. "No, I don't think you're sick, however, that tiredness you just mentioned, and those nighttime activities that have been keeping you awake…"

Jane couldn't prevent himself from aiming a highly meaningful look in her direction at that, again she pretended to hate the liberties he was taking with her in the middle of this supposedly serious argument. But he couldn't help himself, circumstances had forced this into happening at a less then opportune and lighthearted moment, but he still felt the urge to insert a little joy into the proceedings. He continued. "Both of those things, my dear, _are_ related to what's in the bag. Why don't you just take a look…"

Lisbon was clearly torn. He would bet that she didn't want to be seen to be giving in to his whims, not when she was still angry with him. But he could tell that she was simply dying of curiosity to know what was in the bag now. He watched as she surreptitiously handled it, covertly trying to figure out what was in it without him being able to tell that she was even interested. She should know him better by now.

"Teresa, if you actually have no idea what's in it, which I now truly believe you don't, I promise you that feeling the bag is not going to enlighten you in any way."

"W-what? I wasn't…" She spluttered.

"Yes, you were." He interrupted with an indulgent smile. "But it's really unnecessary; all you have to do is open it. And sooner rather than later would probably be better. I imagine you'll be wanting to visit the bathroom before too long."

That last comment earned him a really odd look, which worked as further but unnecessary evidence of how utterly clueless she really was. It also apparently caused her curiosity to win the internal battle that had been going on before his eyes, because he watched as her fingers drifted to the opening of the brown paper bag, her eyes not leaving his.

He split his attention between her eyes and her hands. Only when her fingers had worked the bag fully open did her gaze break from his and look down.

There was a split second of confusion written on her features before her jaw dropped in shock when her brain finally identified the contents of the package in her hands.

Silence reigned for several seconds before anyone spoke.

"Jane…I…" She opened and closed her mouth several times in an attempt to say more but apparently words failed her.

Her eyes where still glued to the contents of the package she now held in an iron grip, when Jane decided it was time to break the silence and state his case.

"Teresa, I can't even believe I didn't consider this likelihood a lot sooner than I did but it all fits. The symptoms might be mild at this early stage but they are there. And speaking of those activities that have been keeping you up at night, exactly how long since those activities of ours have been 'interrupted'?"

"I…" She was still struck stock still like a statue exactly where she had been when her brain had first computed the contents of the package. Her mouth still occasionally trying and failing to form a response appropriate for the situation.

"Teresa, I'm sorry to spring this on you like this, I can see that you didn't suspect, but frankly this is already happening late, I simply couldn't risk waiting any longer. If I could have thought of a way to get us to this point before we took on that damn hotel job…as it was I had to improvise!"

"When?" She spoke the word softly but firmly, her first coherent, if short, question, since first opening the now very rumpled brown paper bag in her hands.

"Sorry?" He suspected he knew her true question, but he wanted her to give away more. Most specifically, more about her true feelings about this massive development would be nice.

For the first time since opening the bag, Jane watched his girlfriend lift her emotion laden brown orbs to meet his. He could read her as always, but it was difficult to get a clear picture, as there were just so many emotions in the mix right now.

"When did you start thinking that _this _was…**_this_**?" With each overly enunciated word she griped the bag in her hands even tighter.

"Yesterday." He answered simply, he still wanted her to give more of her thought process away, he himself was utterly terrified by the contents of that bag and what it represented, but he was forcing himself to be the cool head of the two of them right now. For as long as he could manage it actually…It would help him greatly if sometime soon he got an assurance from her that _he_ wasn't in this alone. A unique and highly gender reversed situation to be sure, but the facts were the facts.

"When yesterday?" She clarified; her tone unfortunately not giving much away, though her entire persona could very easily be read as a slow but short burning fuse.

Treading carefully, he answered in complete truth. "It was after you got shot."

"I didn't get shot." She protested immediately, exactly as he should have foreseen.

"Sorry, after you so nearly got shot that in fact your jacket _did _get shot. After I spent fifteen minutes trying to keep Spackman's blood inside his body while you chased after a psychopathic killer by yourself, knowing every second of that time how easily it could have been your blood helplessly draining through my fingers!"

One look at her and he knew he had said the wrong thing, too much anyway. "Sorry, but that was when it started..." He looked down…ashamed.

Ok, he knew that hadn't been fair, accurate, but no fair. Not well timed either. He was trying to defend his actions of yesterday, not a good time to attack his girlfriend over events that merely amounted to his own fears, with mitigating circumstances that neither of them had been aware of at the time.

However, it had taken being plunged into those fears, those memories, the loss of not only the woman he loved but a child of his too, that had made the light bulb start to illuminate in his mind.

The true and complete realization had not come then…unfortunately. But that was when something clearly important, that he couldn't quiet grasp tangible hold of, had started teasing the corners of his mind.

It had been the real reason for his insomnia that night, sure he had been worried about his plan and he had definitely been worried about Lisbon. But that had been exactly what had been bugging him so damn badly, he had been far more worried about her then usual.

He had been terrified for her almost every waking hour for over a decade, and obviously it had increased again when they had become a couple, but he was managing that fear. He was damn used to it by now. Using every damn trick in his arsenal he had been managing that constant dread that existed every moment that she wasn't safely cocooned in his arms out of harms way.

Which was why he could understand why every single one of his coping mechanisms, had chosen that moment to completely fail him. And it had tortured him all day and all night, all the more because he could not explain it.

Sure on the surface it was very explainable, she had been in an extremely dangerous, very nearly life ending, situation…and she was set to walk into another one tomorrow. But unfortunately…nothing about that was all the unusual. He had handled it before, not well, but he had handled it…and he had been the only one left knowing how torturous it was for him.

But yesterday had been different. Usually when he had a problem or suspicion, he considered it long and hard, and he thought up an answer or solution. Usually by the end of that process, he was extremely confident that he was correct in his deductions.

That was what had been different with his fear of yesterday, no matter how hard he tried, how much he thought about it, he was not able to come up with an answer than satisfied him. He was left with the constant feeling that he was missing something, something important.

He thought he had considered every possibility for his uncharacteristic mental failure. He was genuinely concerned for the young mother, Lily, he was genuinely worried for the team that were fast becoming his new makeshift extended family. And obviously, there was that ever-present terror that the only remaining bright light of his life with be extinguished.

He still couldn't believe it had taken him so long to realize the truth, what kind of mentalist was he?! Then again, it wouldn't be the first time he had failed to see or admit to the obvious until it was too late, simply because that clarity was apparently so close to him that it actually appeared cloudy.

"Why?" Lisbon still seemed perched on a precipice, not really leaning one way or the other, not indicating belief or disbelief, just absorbing and deciding. His ever-practical angel…

"Because its obvious, Teresa, so completely obvious that I am fool to have missed it for so long… To have left you in so much danger for so long…" He knew the self-recrimination would not leave him in a hurry. Yesterday could have gone different in so many ways if he had been more on the ball.

"But Jane, I can't be pregnant!" She was so adamant…but she was also wrong.

"Really? You _can't_ be pregnant?" He mimicked back, looking at her…meaningfully. Further words were not required…just time for her to consider his.

"But…I…we…but…" She seemed to run out of steam then. If he was seeing right, finally the possibility was entering her consciousness…she had a pretty obvious tell actually…she looked absolutely petrified.

He persisted in his set course gently, but kept persistence in the mix. He spoke softly, lovingly. He wished this didn't have to be such a tense time for them, but a case of terrible timing and his own mental failure had taken this out of both their hands. "Teresa, I can see that you now realize this _is_ possible. I won't tell you how possible I think it is. I think you can already guess that. But now that we both agree this_ could_ be real, we both need to know for sure, and there is only one way to accomplish that..." His eyes indicated the rumpled brown bag being savaged by her overly tense grip on it.

Teresa seemed lost in a trance. He could tell she had heard him. She was just having a little trouble with the bombardment of implications his words were causing.

Just when he thought he was going to have to physically jolt her out of whatever black hole of shock and fear she had fallen into, she suddenly jolted back to herself, to reality and the look she gave him was one exactly reminiscent of a deer caught in the high beams of an oncoming car, one moving far to fast to even consider escaping.

It made his heart bleed and he wanted to comfort her, this was coming out of the blue for both of them really, though far more so for her. It was not something they had discussed or even thought about and it was frankly terrifying for both of them. He was not selfish enough to think he was the only one with valid reasons to fear this. That fear was most definitely there, but yesterday had been his day to panic. Today was Lisbon's.

Jane was trying to formulate the right words to comfort his clearly slightly terrified girlfriend when said terrified girlfriend suddenly divested herself of her bedcovers and leapt off the bed in one quick move.

It was only a mere second later that the bathroom door slammed shut, the lock turning audibly a split second after that.

Well, he had wanted to get her into the bathroom, so there was that. Problem was, she had forgotten something important…

Jane grabbed the poor tortured paper bag and walked the short distance to Lisbon's bathroom door. He held the bag out and knocked lightly.

"Teresa, did you forget something?"

Just as quick as she had disappeared to start with, the bag suddenly disappeared from his hand, the door slammed again, and again, the definitive sound of a lock turning was his abundantly clear message that he was not welcome in the room with her right now.

Not that he had expected much different…just hoped really. He still had some hope that she might be ok with him being there for the second part of the test…he could understand if she was uncomfortable with his presence during the first part.

But as the minutes ticked up, that hope was dashed too. Again, he couldn't really be surprised, this was all happening in a less than ideal circumstance.

When several more minutes passed, sounds from the bathroom ranging from rustling paper and cardboard, to silence, to more rustling paper and cardboard, he decided enough time had passed.

"Teresa, can I come in?" He called.

"No." Was her immediate and quite panicked reply.

Disappointed, but never deterred, her called again. "Can you come out?"

"No." Same response. Panic.

Jane signed and glanced at his watch again, he wanted her to come out, or let him in, let him be involved in some way, but he didn't need that to provide him with answers, he already had them.

The confirmation was already in as far as he was concerned. He called out again. "Teresa, I know you are looking at at least three positive tests by now…"

The door opened suddenly then, and an…unreadable?...face popped out. "You can't know that!" She spluttered.

Jane, sitting back on her/their bed now, slouched forward, hands on his knees, and gave her a long-suffering look. Very much like the ones she usually gave him.

"Hi, have we met? Teresa, I wouldn't have bought the tests if I hadn't have been fairly sure about this to start with and you and I both know that if the first test you took had been negative you would have taken great pleasure in throwing it in my face in triumph as proof that I was actually wrong about something…it is your silence that is speaking volumes, my dear." He finished with a small but wry smile.

Her face screwed up in indignation at his assertion. It was actually kind of cute. It was also damn easy it read. That was exactly what she would have done, was planning to do. Probably the only reason she had so easily agreed to take the tests in the first place…she had planned to prove him wrong and then move on with their fight on the higher ground. Oops for her.

Only when she more fully exited the bathroom did he see that she did indeed hold three little white sticks in her left hand. He already knew, even before the tests really, but looking at the tangible evidence now, suddenly made it feel all the more real.

He took a deep breath to calm himself and tried desperately to stamp down on all the fear induced reflexes that would not help any of them moving forward.

He stood and took a step toward her, she took a step back, it hurt.

Yet, still undeterred he held out his arms to her, entreated her to come to him, to let them share this. He saw her shake her head, tears escaping.

"You faked the results somehow!" She accused, voice desperate. Heavy tears threatening to fall.

That he had _not _expected. Denial really wasn't just a river in Egypt. He couldn't deny that he was offended, hurt even, but he had to acknowledge that her accusation was coming from a place of fear, and it wasn't like he had never pulled 'serious' tricks on her before. He had convinced her she only had hours to live once… Still, they had moved past that a long time ago and he thought she knew that.

He gave her a hard look then, deadly serious when he spoke. "Why on earth would I do that, Teresa?"

"I don't know, but you could! You could do it if you wanted!" Desperation laced her tone, and the tears fell. Each one of them like dagger to his heart. This was so far from how he had wanted this to go.

"Yes, Teresa I could, but I **_didn't._** Something like this? I **_never_** would, especially now. You _have _to believe that." He knew desperation was clearly evident in his voice too.

She hesitated a long time, clearly still not completely convinced. Jane couldn't deny it really hurt, but he also took responsibility for the pitifully terrible conditions this revelation was occurring under. It was clearly extremely unconducive to trust.

Time for the big guns. He simply had to make her belief in him and right now, this_ couldn't_ go on…or they would just keep causing more and more damage to their relationship.

And he couldn't let that happen…

Jane really couldn't believe it had come to this, that he was being forced to say these words, but for the sake of his _new family_…

"Teresa…on the grave of daughter, _I swear_, this is not a trick." He uttered each syllable clearly and reverently and every one of them stung at him, it wasn't like he was lying…but they still caused him pain to speak.

He could see Teresa deflate immediately.

"Patrick…" She gasped.

He just stood there. It was all up to her now. If the words he had just spoken had not been enough to tell her everything she needed to know about him and the innocence of his motivations, then nothing else he could possibly say would. Words were completely superfluous now, _his _anyway.

And now he was truly terrified. He had laid everything out there with those words. And just as she had begun to doubt him and the viability of their future together last night, after his perceived indefensible actions, he would not be able to help but doubt her and the viability of their future together if she refused to except the truth of his words now. There could simply never be true and complete trust between them, if him taking the monumental step of swearing on his murdered darling daughters grave, was not enough for her.

History was repeating its self in reverse now, because as she took a step towards him, he involuntarily found himself taking a step back from her. That was how vulnerable and scared he felt right now. He loved Lisbon with all his heart, but right now, at this moment, all that meant was that she above anyone, had the greatest power to hurt him.

He saw her pause when he stepped back from her. With a shake of his head he sent a silent apology, he once again brought that same foot that had involuntarily stepped back, forward again.

She smiled nervously and took another tentative step towards him. As she passed a dresser, he watched her eye the three tests in her hand as if really seeing them for the first time, then almost reverently, she carefully set them down on the smooth surface.

She then lifted her gaze upwards to meet his and all of sudden, his heart unclenched, his lungs sucked in air he didn't realize he had been depriving them of and he smiled a huge heavily relieved megawatt smile…one that exactly mirrored hers.

His beautiful girlfriend was looking at him with the most radiant smile he had ever seen on her lips…and he remembered them all. In a few short moments and a few long rushed steps she was in his arms. He wasn't sure who had pounced at who first, he suspected it had been mutual, but it didn't matter now.

There were together, attached, literally and figuratively.

And _forever_, if he had anything to say about it, which of course he did.

He was the mentalist after all.

THE END

A/N: So I know this is pretty long, in depth and plot specific for an episode tag, but what can I say, it's where my muse took me. Obviously I know that canon is highly likely to kick my theory's butt in the next episode but I do harbor some secret hopes for the end of the season/series, however unlikely they may be. Having said that, the writers have been pretty diligent little wish fulfilling genies so far this season, so you never know! ;-D Please review!


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